Pillow Fight: A Bird's Worst Nightmare / by Arthur Hsu

There was a buzz in the air today, and it wasn't the mysterious buzz plaguing the City of Windsor, nor was it a transformer waiting to blow up.  The energy was merely the result of the glowing sun shining down on the poor Vancouver populace.  The sight and smell of a freshly manicured garden means that the spring is here, but that doesn't mean people have been frolicking around town until today.  The record breaking rain fall meant that much of the city were grounded indoors.  Other than those people who were under court-ordered house arrests, the rain was quite inconvenient for everyone else!

I took the chance to wander around town with my camera today.  The streets seemed fuller with the brilliant weather.  I was wondering what the city had in store for me today when I came upon what appeared to be a geese massacre.  I heard the commotion from afar and all I saw was a gang of people waving some sort of blunt instrument around in the air following by big puffs of white feather going all over the place.  It appeared that the crowd was bludgeoning a flock of geese to death with the very inefficient weapon of pillows.  

Okay, it wasn't a geese murdering party.  Instead, it was some sort of organized pillow fight party For a large segment of our society, mainly of the male persuasion, pillow fight means only one thing to them.  Pillow fight is simply a byproduct of a female sleepover.  Legend has it, pillow fight is basically scheduled into all female sleepovers.  There is apparently some sort of secret female constitution in existence.  The Second Amendment of that constitution is the right to bear pillows.  Maybe I made that up.  Sadly, I would never be able to find out the truth for myself without some very expensive surgeries.  All joking aside, it was fun to see all the people lovingly pummelling each other with down pillows under the spring sun.  As I look to the sky, all the feather floating in the air appeared like spring snowfall under a clear sky.  It also reminded me of Forest Gump's little feather floating around in the movie.  A pillow fight would have totally ruined the beautiful feather scene as Mr. Gump tried to figure out which feather belonged to him.

After the passion or the aggression settled, most people scattered and only a handful of people stuck around for the clean up.  As I watched the incredible amount of feather left on the ground, I began to wonder if down pillows are the best tool for the job.  The cost aside, down feather is hard to clean up due to its ADHD nature of wanting to fly all over the place.  It was hard not to feel bad for all the geese or ducks that had to suffer to make those pillows puffy, so we can feel like sleeping on a bag of clouds.  If those birds, with their featherless bodies, were to witness the pillow fight firsthand and seeing the wasted feather on the ground, it would indeed be their worst nightmares.

The cleanup crew

The cleanup crew

First the geese had to suffer for the pillows... then the poor leopard had to suffer for the pants.

First the geese had to suffer for the pillows... then the poor leopard had to suffer for the pants.

Oh Canada

Oh Canada